For the past, lets just say 10 years, Leah and I have been best friends, we have been through all the tests of a friendship and we have made it to the top. We learned quickly that we had a lot in common, through google self diagnosing illnesses to wanting families. But ill leave all the sappiness on the bathroom floor, we are just two women keeping the pregnancy and mommy-hood real, from one sarcastic asshole to another, we will be sure to not sugar coat our fabulous lives we tend to live.



Lauren14I am Lauren; I was born and raised in Northeastern, Illinois. I am 27 years old and pregnant with my first child. During the day I can be found working in revenue cycle for a large cancer hospital in my hometown I just got married in June 2015, and we found out we were pregnant at the end of July. Aside from a natural calling in health care, from a very young age I knew I was meant to be a mother. I started babysitting at 12 and had a natural instinct for caring. Motherhood isn’t something I ever feared or still fear, I know my experience and my abilities.  But this doesn’t mean I haven’t gotten lovely comments from those who are already mothers, things like “oh well you can say that, you aren’t a mother” or the “You don’t have any right to judge, until you’re a mom”, I usually just let them think that, instead of taking out my chainsaw, well at least that is what is going through my mind. Most who have been pregnant can sympathize with me on the raging hormones and one wrong word could mean complete decapitation. Women should also support one another better than we currently are. There would be a lot less hurt feelings and maybe even less headless women.

What I will admit to fearing is pregnancy. I like to be in control and right now, I have sold my body to my son.  See at 20 years old I found out I had Lyme disease which then brought on a chronic pain disorder, most of which I have chosen to treat without medication, aside from my best buddy Aleve,  (before pregnancy) I chose to see a Doctor of Osteopath who does Osteomanipulative treatments. I had no idea what pregnancy would be like for me, would I be like my sister and throw up constantly or would I love it? Needless to say the reason for blogging is that I DO NOT LOVE pregnancy, and I feel no shame in that. Even though I love horror movies, pregnancy has been like a scene from Halloween, Michael Myers won’t leave you alone and you keep running, tripping, he gets closer then disappears and when you least expect it comes back to try and kill you. So if that doesn’t sum up my pregnancy thus far than I am not sure what example I can use. So I welcome everyone to my ups and downs of pregnancy and my transition to motherhood.


I’m Leah; I was born and raised in the Midwest and question daily what the hell I am still doing here. I am 28 years old and unlike my dear friend Lauren, I have reached the end of my baby making days.  Lots of the making but there will officially be no more babies, thank you vasectomy! I have 3 children (4 if you count my husband.)

I never imagined having kids, especially 3 of them. I knew I wanted one or two….maybe, some day? That day came way sooner than I could have ever imagined when weeks before my 19th birthday I found out I was expecting our first son, Kaden.  A few short months after he was born his dad (Ryan) and I separated. Talk about emotional. Little did I know it was all part of a much bigger plan. Ryan and I were very much in love with each other and our son, but we hadn’t found ourselves yet. We lived our own lives for awhile. I did a lot of shit I am not too proud of. But even though we were not “together” we raised a pretty great kid as a team.

Fast-forward 6 years…I am walking down the aisle (a day I never imagined either) to marry the love of my life, yes Ryan! Life is not a happily ever after but in this case it was. The past two years have been busy. We bought a house, a cat, a dog and added two beautiful children (one planned…one not so much) another boy, Cooper and a baby girl, Quinn.

When I am not being peed, pooped and/or barfed on, I work for a group of radio stations as a Marketing Consultant during the week and a Jock on the weekends. I have the flexibility to stay home with my kids during the week and am paid to have a social life on the weekends. Best job ever? Yes, yes it is!

I think that’ll sum it up for now. If you are easily offended or don’t like the word fuck being used as a noun, verb, adjective, command, interjection etc. then my blog is not for you….